4 days of waiting

No, it's around... 3 days, 93 hours, 5 621 minutes, 337 303 seconds
or 3 days, 21 hours, 38 minutes and 1 second. (Check the situation?)

The whole December and at least the last weeks, people have been waiting for to go home already. Most are going in the end of this week, starting from Wednesday. I don't have school, I've orginazed everything already that I need to do before they come, so the whole week will be just waiting. It will be hellish.. just waiting and thinking why can't they be here already.

I've noticed during the last weekend how I've started to loosen up. I didn't cry when I left my family and few friends on the airport. I cried few tears when I was in the airplane alone. Then I cried when I was in a trapped situation at this italian home, but that is all. I've felt so trapped and so bad during these months and I still haven't cried. I used to cry on so little, just a good ending in a movie, a song that said what I wanted to hear just at the moment... here I've just toughened myself up. I've had to.

Last weekend, I noticed that I'm really loosening up. Letting go. I cried over Veikko's funeral pictures and when mom told me about one certain detail of the funerals, though I didn't ever even know him so well. I cried over a movie that I've seen for 10 times before but it never made me cry before..