Live and learn,

So yesterday Giorgio (gift from heavens) got me a the best deal he could get out of the circumstances. So I moved. The ex-appartment is... what it is now. As I was sick, there was a meeting about getting some money back of what I paid for it. Honestly, I will never sign my name to a contract like this EVER... and I feel so stupid that I believed these people from the very beginning and so blindly. The conclusion was that I get no money back. Like Francesco said: "That's legal violence!" Then he started to doubt how legal it is. If I tell you that there's a big possibility that I loose the kind of money that would pay a round trip (from Europe) to South America and a weeks stay, you can figure out for yourself how much money there is considered.

My chances now to get even half of the money back is... well there's a chance, but my hope for it is somewhat low. I still have faith in the good of this land.

As I was talking to mom about it, she told me: "You cannot know things in advance. You do decisions based on the information you have at that moment. Hindsight (jälkiviisaus) and feeling sorry about it doesn't help. Important is to learn about it." And I went: "I've been so unlucky the whole year... in most big things I mean... I'm not saying that it's been all shit through the whole year." And she: "So list the good things of the whole year here, I want to read them!"

And I start... Giorgio, Dino, Mario, Johannes, Päivi, Simona, Till, Carlos, HANNA!!, Giada, Marica --- Genova, Milano, Bergamo, Verona, Venezia multiple times, Trieste, Treviso, Ljubljana, Firenze, Torino, Pisa... all the trips. I learned to make better food. Everything that happened during travels. I've met people I haven't met in years or almost in a year. And how people suddenly care what happens to me even when I'm not in their sight all the time. All my friends back home. All my family. Or maybe...

Maybe I've learned more. It is easier to list things that I've learned more than things that are good. After all, all of this will become good on some level anyway. I've been an optimist before. I still am. I've just been this dreamer-optimist, so maybe this year taught this dreamer-optimist some real-life realism (raakaa realismia).