Dear flatmates,

I've noticed here while staying at the new house that somehow it is really hard for me to adjust to people here. I mean generally in the house. I've given it a lot of thought and tried to figure out what can be done.

At this moment, I really miss the arrangement in Finland. The appartments I've been living (and asked for) are for only two. That means 80% less of people to arrange things with. How to organize cleaning and buying things together. There's always someone who's not happy or who doesn't understand how things actually go. I can blame all my flatmates for not doing things right from the very beginning, but the plain fact is that... I'm not a saint either.

In my ex-house I really got on well with Giada and Marica in the end. They were somewhat like sisters to me. We never really went to a really personal level on things we talked about, but I always knew they'd be there if I needed support. In this new house, I have similar kind of feeling with Giulia. I haven't talked to her half as much just because she's never around. There's weeks when I don't see none of them once, even if they do sleep at home every night. They are gonne in the morning when I wake up and/or already sleep when I come home. Or the other way around (this is much more seldom).

I sure feel much more comfortable in this house and I defenitely do not regret moving here. I like already only the idea of a single room. I don't know if that's cultural or what, but I feel ackward withdrawing from them when they are eating together in the livingroom. When I first came here, I thought the strange tension between was just because of the language (and I still do believe that) and simply the unresolved issues I had with the last house. Just getting used to living in another place took me months. Now I'm living here for the 3rd month and I stll don't somehow have anything to talk about with the other two flatmates around (Camilla and Alessandra). Francesco, who is one of the sweetest guys I've met here, is never around. The time I've been here, he has slept in his room for maybe 4 nights. The rest of the time he is at his girlfriend's house.

Few days ago Camilla asked me (talking very slowly italian) with what do I wash my clothes with as there is no washing liquid left. Apparently I had used whithener or something like that.. I have really little idea. I was grinning at the episode and thinking it was quite funny. I didn't even think it was so important - and then the two girls continued their talk in italian thinking what I had used. Saying nothing to me anymore.

Every time something like this happens, I add up things to the list of why I really don't feel like talking to some people. I don't see the point. It is not like talking italian is easy for me anyways... it's not easy when certain people are around. And don't let me even get started on how difficult joking is with the language. Then they just stare at me when the joke is obvious. It gets me frustrated..

I cannot wait to get to the student appartment arrangements in Finland. HOPING that this luck will not continue and I will actually be blessed with a bearable flatmate. Please.