Monday, April 28, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Live and learn,
So yesterday Giorgio (gift from heavens) got me a the best deal he could get out of the circumstances. So I moved. The ex-appartment is... what it is now. As I was sick, there was a meeting about getting some money back of what I paid for it. Honestly, I will never sign my name to a contract like this EVER... and I feel so stupid that I believed these people from the very beginning and so blindly. The conclusion was that I get no money back. Like Francesco said: "That's legal violence!" Then he started to doubt how legal it is. If I tell you that there's a big possibility that I loose the kind of money that would pay a round trip (from Europe) to South America and a weeks stay, you can figure out for yourself how much money there is considered.
My chances now to get even half of the money back is... well there's a chance, but my hope for it is somewhat low. I still have faith in the good of this land.
As I was talking to mom about it, she told me: "You cannot know things in advance. You do decisions based on the information you have at that moment. Hindsight (jälkiviisaus) and feeling sorry about it doesn't help. Important is to learn about it." And I went: "I've been so unlucky the whole year... in most big things I mean... I'm not saying that it's been all shit through the whole year." And she: "So list the good things of the whole year here, I want to read them!"
And I start... Giorgio, Dino, Mario, Johannes, Päivi, Simona, Till, Carlos, HANNA!!, Giada, Marica --- Genova, Milano, Bergamo, Verona, Venezia multiple times, Trieste, Treviso, Ljubljana, Firenze, Torino, Pisa... all the trips. I learned to make better food. Everything that happened during travels. I've met people I haven't met in years or almost in a year. And how people suddenly care what happens to me even when I'm not in their sight all the time. All my friends back home. All my family. Or maybe...
Maybe I've learned more. It is easier to list things that I've learned more than things that are good. After all, all of this will become good on some level anyway. I've been an optimist before. I still am. I've just been this dreamer-optimist, so maybe this year taught this dreamer-optimist some real-life realism (raakaa realismia).
My chances now to get even half of the money back is... well there's a chance, but my hope for it is somewhat low. I still have faith in the good of this land.
As I was talking to mom about it, she told me: "You cannot know things in advance. You do decisions based on the information you have at that moment. Hindsight (jälkiviisaus) and feeling sorry about it doesn't help. Important is to learn about it." And I went: "I've been so unlucky the whole year... in most big things I mean... I'm not saying that it's been all shit through the whole year." And she: "So list the good things of the whole year here, I want to read them!"
And I start... Giorgio, Dino, Mario, Johannes, Päivi, Simona, Till, Carlos, HANNA!!, Giada, Marica --- Genova, Milano, Bergamo, Verona, Venezia multiple times, Trieste, Treviso, Ljubljana, Firenze, Torino, Pisa... all the trips. I learned to make better food. Everything that happened during travels. I've met people I haven't met in years or almost in a year. And how people suddenly care what happens to me even when I'm not in their sight all the time. All my friends back home. All my family. Or maybe...
Maybe I've learned more. It is easier to list things that I've learned more than things that are good. After all, all of this will become good on some level anyway. I've been an optimist before. I still am. I've just been this dreamer-optimist, so maybe this year taught this dreamer-optimist some real-life realism (raakaa realismia).
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Good details,
What I was happy about today? After some time of fighting for better time, I see sunshine shining through the pile of branches. I'm still not all the way through, but I will start with telling what made me happy today.
My brother is possibly one of the only men at the moment who make me smile and even when he least wants to do it, he does it. Just a simple start of a conversation from his direction, makes me feel good :)
I got two compliments for my italian today. First I sent a message to Elena who I met through Fredi in February along with Katja who I stayed at when I was in Berlin. First of all her start of the message made me smile all at once "Ciao bellissima!!!Che piacere sentirti!!!" (Hey beautiful!!! What a pleasure to hear from you!!!) and then the continuation made me feel confident for once: "Non pensavo sapessi così bene l'italiano...Complimenti!!!" (I didn't think you know so good italian...Compliments!!!)
The confidence grew even more when Nicola sent me an invitation and as I replied that I'm sick and I cannot come, in the end of his second message after saying that if I change my mind, just should give him a call: "p.s.:complimenti per il tuo italiano..stai migliorando tantissimo!!!!" (p.s.: compliments for your italian.. you're doing really a lot better!!!!)
I booked tickets to Barcelona last week very spontaneously. First my project was to get someone to go with me and in the end, Laura of all the lovely people, decided to go. Lovely enough today I figured out that a girl that was part of the ESN type of thing in Finland with us, offers us a free place to stay! I love the city as a whole already and now I'm spending a great holiday there with these people!
I started yesterday also very spontaneously reading again from the beginning the book of Paolo Coelho called The Alchemist and now after one day I'm over half way done. The book is great for the situation where I'm in right now. It's the most couragement I've needed for sometime now.
Anna (a girl living and studying in Helsinki) and I started an unofficial and very slow-speed project together, but just the thought of it.. even when I haven't done much for it, makes me feel more alive. I have something I like to do and it's pushing me forward.
Mom maybe arranged me a project work for school! Speriamo bene adesso! Wishing for the best now!
Yesterday I was talking to one of my roommates, Giulia, about my exambooks and how hard they are for me to read. We talked about it for some time and then today when I've spent the whole day inside she didn't just offer me a bite to eat when they were eating together but she also came out of nowhere to my door saying that: "I forgot to say yesterday, but if you need help with the exambooks, just ask!" :)
I have been sick for the last two days, lying in my bed.. and now after all those days of sitting inside when it rains and feeling so terrible, I feel good. I feel alive and I'm still not well enough to go outside. But I saw part of blue sky from the window today.
My brother is possibly one of the only men at the moment who make me smile and even when he least wants to do it, he does it. Just a simple start of a conversation from his direction, makes me feel good :)
I got two compliments for my italian today. First I sent a message to Elena who I met through Fredi in February along with Katja who I stayed at when I was in Berlin. First of all her start of the message made me smile all at once "Ciao bellissima!!!Che piacere sentirti!!!" (Hey beautiful!!! What a pleasure to hear from you!!!) and then the continuation made me feel confident for once: "Non pensavo sapessi così bene l'italiano...Complimenti!!!" (I didn't think you know so good italian...Compliments!!!)
The confidence grew even more when Nicola sent me an invitation and as I replied that I'm sick and I cannot come, in the end of his second message after saying that if I change my mind, just should give him a call: "p.s.:complimenti per il tuo italiano..stai migliorando tantissimo!!!!" (p.s.: compliments for your italian.. you're doing really a lot better!!!!)
I booked tickets to Barcelona last week very spontaneously. First my project was to get someone to go with me and in the end, Laura of all the lovely people, decided to go. Lovely enough today I figured out that a girl that was part of the ESN type of thing in Finland with us, offers us a free place to stay! I love the city as a whole already and now I'm spending a great holiday there with these people!
I started yesterday also very spontaneously reading again from the beginning the book of Paolo Coelho called The Alchemist and now after one day I'm over half way done. The book is great for the situation where I'm in right now. It's the most couragement I've needed for sometime now.
Anna (a girl living and studying in Helsinki) and I started an unofficial and very slow-speed project together, but just the thought of it.. even when I haven't done much for it, makes me feel more alive. I have something I like to do and it's pushing me forward.
Mom maybe arranged me a project work for school! Speriamo bene adesso! Wishing for the best now!
Yesterday I was talking to one of my roommates, Giulia, about my exambooks and how hard they are for me to read. We talked about it for some time and then today when I've spent the whole day inside she didn't just offer me a bite to eat when they were eating together but she also came out of nowhere to my door saying that: "I forgot to say yesterday, but if you need help with the exambooks, just ask!" :)
I have been sick for the last two days, lying in my bed.. and now after all those days of sitting inside when it rains and feeling so terrible, I feel good. I feel alive and I'm still not well enough to go outside. But I saw part of blue sky from the window today.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Parempi ruoka, parempi mieli,
I've noticed that everytime I miss home, I bake and cook a lot. I use a lot of time in the kitchen, because it need certain kind of concentration. So lately I have made meatballs with cream sauce and lingonberry jam. I have cooked potatoes almost everyday when usually I just go with easy choices like pasta and rice. Johannes, Päivi, Milka and I went to IKEA for dinner one evening. Within 20 minutes of walking in (and I'm not exaggerating), all of us had eaten 15 meatballs with cream sauce, lingonberry jam and potatoes, a piece of daim cake and an ice cream.
Yesterday I wanted to bake something but we don't have a mixer so the options are limited. I made bread with cheese and olives. It turned out to be a success and even my flatmates (picky italians) liked it a lot. I made it with a style my mom made bread at a point. She just put the dough on a baking plate and put it in the oven. I patted it on the plate like she does. With the bread, I had summer salad. Cold but cooked past with fresh paprika, cucumber mixed together with a sauce (½dl lemon juice, 1dl oil, 1-2 garlic pieces, 1 tablespoon sugar, ½ teaspoons herb salt, 1 teaspoon dried dill or ½ dl of fresh and maybe a little pepper). It is the kind of salad I loved in summer parties. Refreshing and tasty. I even ate it on a paper plate to have the atmosphere.. hehe.
Today I bought strawberries. When I was little, mom cut them into pieces and put some sugar on them.
It's sunshine today, so I'm gonna go to Prato della Valle and suck some energy out of the sun.
Yesterday I wanted to bake something but we don't have a mixer so the options are limited. I made bread with cheese and olives. It turned out to be a success and even my flatmates (picky italians) liked it a lot. I made it with a style my mom made bread at a point. She just put the dough on a baking plate and put it in the oven. I patted it on the plate like she does. With the bread, I had summer salad. Cold but cooked past with fresh paprika, cucumber mixed together with a sauce (½dl lemon juice, 1dl oil, 1-2 garlic pieces, 1 tablespoon sugar, ½ teaspoons herb salt, 1 teaspoon dried dill or ½ dl of fresh and maybe a little pepper). It is the kind of salad I loved in summer parties. Refreshing and tasty. I even ate it on a paper plate to have the atmosphere.. hehe.
Today I bought strawberries. When I was little, mom cut them into pieces and put some sugar on them.
It's sunshine today, so I'm gonna go to Prato della Valle and suck some energy out of the sun.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Place a warm candle in the empty space, please,
(english below)
Olen huomannut, että minuun on juuriintunut täällä sellainen masennuksen sieni. Pieni vain. Olisin jo valmis menemään kotiin ja tuntemaan taas oloni jokseenkin hyödylliseksi. Kai meissä jokaisessa asuu kuitenkin jonkin asteinen työnarkomaani, joka haluaa tuntea olonsa hyödylliseksi itselle ja muille. Se on myös selvästi ajankysymys. Huomaan uusissa tulokkaissa samoja oireita kuin minussa heidän osassaan tuona ajankohtana omaa vaihtoani. Olen vain evoluution (lue: ajan) seuraava vaihe.
Tiedän, että moni käskisi minun joko olla valittamatta, koska tämä on ehkä ainoa aika jolloin voin nauttia elämästä kiirehtimättä ja toiset voisivat lisätä, että olisipa ihanaa jos itsellä olisi edes hetki aikaa ja pieni tila omille ajatuksille, jossa niitä kuulisi. Minä sanon, että kyllä.. se pieni hetki tai keskikokoinen hetki on ihanaa, kun sen on omasta mielestään ansainnut. En sano, etten olisi ansainnut täällä oloani.. sanon, että kun se tila ja aika omille ajatuksille alkaa olemaan liian suuri, tulee kaiku myös peliin mukaan. Aikaa voi aina järjestää halutessaan itselle, mutta jos sitä on kokoajan, joutuu elämään joka hetken itsensä ja omien ajatustensa kanssa. Itseään ei pääse karkuun hetkeksikään ja kaikki on liian vapaaehtoista. Tilan muodostama kaikupohja suurentaa ongelmia singottamalla samoja jo-käsiteltyjä asioita ympärillä tarpeettoman kauan. Vainoharhainen pääni saa nytkin ongelmia aikaan tyhjästä. Onkohan eläkeelläolo tällaista?
Kaikki ihmiset ympäriltäni häviävät. Puhuin eilen Judithin kanssa Banalessa. Hän sanoi sanat, joita olen itse hakenut ympäriltäni. Ihmiset, jotka ovat kuuluneet vaihtoelämääni alusta lähtien, ovat lähdössä vähitellen. Ympäriltä katoaa vähitellen suuri osa ja tilalle jää tyhjää. Judith katsoi eksyneesti ja surullisesti ympärilleen: "Evi lähtee viikon päästä ja sitten kaikki ovatkin lähteneet. Nyt en näe ympärilläni muita kuin uusia ja vieraita kasvoja, enkä tiedä pidänkö siitä." Minun porukastani Johannes lähti viimeisenä.. hän lähti eilen illalla. Päivi lähtee 11 päivän päästä.
Tunnen ajelehtivani kokoajan. Padova ei tunnu samalta. Minulla ei tunnu olevan ketään kenelle soittaa koska vain. Mielen valtaa vain suuri halu mennä takaisin kotiin. Opiskella, tehdä töitä, kuulua johonkin piiriin, saada ystävät ympärille. Jälleen kerran mieleeni vilahtaa se hetki, kun yliopiston valmennuskurssia esittelevä nainen sanoi lukion liikuntasalin edessä, ettei ole aivan merkityksetöntä mihin kaverit menevät.
--
I've noticed that there is a sponge of depression grown in me. Just a small one. I would be ready to go home and feel myself useful again. I guess in all of us there is still living a small workaholic, who wants to feel useful to themselves and to others. It is obviously a matter of time. I notice similar kind of symptoms in the newbies than I had in that time of my exchange. I'm just the next step in evolution (read: time).
I know that many would tell me to stop whining and enough the only time in my life that I can enjoy without any rush and others would possibly add that it would be lovely if they would have even a little time and space for their own thoughts, where you could also hear them. I say, yes... that little or medium-sized moment would be nice, when you feel like you have deserved it. I'm not saying that I haven't deserved my time and being here.. I say that the space and time to your own thought is beginning to be too big and that is when the echo comes into the circle. You can always arrange time for yourself but if you have it all the time, you cannot escape yourself. You have to live with you and your thoughts every moment. Everything feels to voluntary. The sound board made from the space is beginning to largen unnecessarily much the problems which you already dealt with. My paranoic head is already making problems out of nothing. Is this was being on pension is like?
All the people around me are disolving. I talked to Judith yesterday night in Banale. She said the words I've been searching from around me. The people, which belonged to my exchange life from the beginning, are now slowly leaving. The most is departuring from around me and there is just empty space. Judith looked around a bit lost and sad: "Evi is going next week and then they are all gone. Now I don't see nothing but new and unknown faces around me and I don't know if I like it." From my group of people, Johannes left last.. he left yesterday night. Päivi is leaving in 11 days.
I feel like floating all the time. Padova doesn't feel the same. I feel like I don't have someone to call anymore at any time of the day. My mind is filled with the want of going home. To study, to work, to belong somewhere, get my friends around me. Once again I get the moment in front of my eyes when the university preparation course person is in front of the gym hall saying that it isn't meaningless where your friends are going.
Olen huomannut, että minuun on juuriintunut täällä sellainen masennuksen sieni. Pieni vain. Olisin jo valmis menemään kotiin ja tuntemaan taas oloni jokseenkin hyödylliseksi. Kai meissä jokaisessa asuu kuitenkin jonkin asteinen työnarkomaani, joka haluaa tuntea olonsa hyödylliseksi itselle ja muille. Se on myös selvästi ajankysymys. Huomaan uusissa tulokkaissa samoja oireita kuin minussa heidän osassaan tuona ajankohtana omaa vaihtoani. Olen vain evoluution (lue: ajan) seuraava vaihe.
Tiedän, että moni käskisi minun joko olla valittamatta, koska tämä on ehkä ainoa aika jolloin voin nauttia elämästä kiirehtimättä ja toiset voisivat lisätä, että olisipa ihanaa jos itsellä olisi edes hetki aikaa ja pieni tila omille ajatuksille, jossa niitä kuulisi. Minä sanon, että kyllä.. se pieni hetki tai keskikokoinen hetki on ihanaa, kun sen on omasta mielestään ansainnut. En sano, etten olisi ansainnut täällä oloani.. sanon, että kun se tila ja aika omille ajatuksille alkaa olemaan liian suuri, tulee kaiku myös peliin mukaan. Aikaa voi aina järjestää halutessaan itselle, mutta jos sitä on kokoajan, joutuu elämään joka hetken itsensä ja omien ajatustensa kanssa. Itseään ei pääse karkuun hetkeksikään ja kaikki on liian vapaaehtoista. Tilan muodostama kaikupohja suurentaa ongelmia singottamalla samoja jo-käsiteltyjä asioita ympärillä tarpeettoman kauan. Vainoharhainen pääni saa nytkin ongelmia aikaan tyhjästä. Onkohan eläkeelläolo tällaista?
Kaikki ihmiset ympäriltäni häviävät. Puhuin eilen Judithin kanssa Banalessa. Hän sanoi sanat, joita olen itse hakenut ympäriltäni. Ihmiset, jotka ovat kuuluneet vaihtoelämääni alusta lähtien, ovat lähdössä vähitellen. Ympäriltä katoaa vähitellen suuri osa ja tilalle jää tyhjää. Judith katsoi eksyneesti ja surullisesti ympärilleen: "Evi lähtee viikon päästä ja sitten kaikki ovatkin lähteneet. Nyt en näe ympärilläni muita kuin uusia ja vieraita kasvoja, enkä tiedä pidänkö siitä." Minun porukastani Johannes lähti viimeisenä.. hän lähti eilen illalla. Päivi lähtee 11 päivän päästä.
Tunnen ajelehtivani kokoajan. Padova ei tunnu samalta. Minulla ei tunnu olevan ketään kenelle soittaa koska vain. Mielen valtaa vain suuri halu mennä takaisin kotiin. Opiskella, tehdä töitä, kuulua johonkin piiriin, saada ystävät ympärille. Jälleen kerran mieleeni vilahtaa se hetki, kun yliopiston valmennuskurssia esittelevä nainen sanoi lukion liikuntasalin edessä, ettei ole aivan merkityksetöntä mihin kaverit menevät.
--
I've noticed that there is a sponge of depression grown in me. Just a small one. I would be ready to go home and feel myself useful again. I guess in all of us there is still living a small workaholic, who wants to feel useful to themselves and to others. It is obviously a matter of time. I notice similar kind of symptoms in the newbies than I had in that time of my exchange. I'm just the next step in evolution (read: time).
I know that many would tell me to stop whining and enough the only time in my life that I can enjoy without any rush and others would possibly add that it would be lovely if they would have even a little time and space for their own thoughts, where you could also hear them. I say, yes... that little or medium-sized moment would be nice, when you feel like you have deserved it. I'm not saying that I haven't deserved my time and being here.. I say that the space and time to your own thought is beginning to be too big and that is when the echo comes into the circle. You can always arrange time for yourself but if you have it all the time, you cannot escape yourself. You have to live with you and your thoughts every moment. Everything feels to voluntary. The sound board made from the space is beginning to largen unnecessarily much the problems which you already dealt with. My paranoic head is already making problems out of nothing. Is this was being on pension is like?
All the people around me are disolving. I talked to Judith yesterday night in Banale. She said the words I've been searching from around me. The people, which belonged to my exchange life from the beginning, are now slowly leaving. The most is departuring from around me and there is just empty space. Judith looked around a bit lost and sad: "Evi is going next week and then they are all gone. Now I don't see nothing but new and unknown faces around me and I don't know if I like it." From my group of people, Johannes left last.. he left yesterday night. Päivi is leaving in 11 days.
I feel like floating all the time. Padova doesn't feel the same. I feel like I don't have someone to call anymore at any time of the day. My mind is filled with the want of going home. To study, to work, to belong somewhere, get my friends around me. Once again I get the moment in front of my eyes when the university preparation course person is in front of the gym hall saying that it isn't meaningless where your friends are going.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
April 7th 2008 in Padova (in pictures)
Because sometimes it is hard to write about it, I thought you'd might like to see it yourself. Just one day of my life in Padova in pictures. Click the images to see the closer.
Morning is about routines. I watch out of the window, check my e-mail and look into the mirror. I write to my happiness calender what I was happy about yesterday.
It's a beautiful day and people are out of their nests. I bike to the center like every Padovian.
I meet Maria, for lunch. We go to a lovely little lunch cafe' which sells piadine of different kind. I have mozzarella, tonno and pomodori. After I go to the bookstore to buy a book for a filmology exam and just to spend some quality time in wise company.
I read in the bookstore and after meeting my flatmates quickly, meeting an italian going to Turku at the same time, I read some more in the riverside. A book about how to talk dirty in different countries, some of the exam book and a finnish women's magazine. As the sun shines some more.
I meet Simona at Piazza delle Erbe. We have a good talk on what's going on around us. We both smile. Then we go to Prato to have a laugh filled conversation on if twins have the same dna or not with Benjamin and Johannes. Some hours go by and also a visitor to see if there's some more bread left :)
I have dinner in a school cafeteria with Giorgio after not seeing him in a long time again. Afterwards we have a talk on relationships, my apartment issues and icecream for dessert.
I bike through Portello to see two finnish girls do the string and hattivatti dance. To talk about finnish language and just to hang around in a cafe'/study room/bar called Fahrenheit.
Johannes, Milka, Päivi and Franco. Päivi was telling bad jokes.
Beni played the piano twice and said it was the first time he got applaudes.
Before midnight I was already in bed.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Challenge for you and me,
Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything you want!
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Kaikilla on asioita, joista kirjoitetaan blogiin. Perusjuttuja. Kaikilla on myös asioita, joista ei kirjoiteta blogiin. Haasta minut pois mukavuusalueelta ja kerro jotain mistä en yleensä kirjoita blogiini, mutta sinä haluaisit kuulla siitä - ja minä kirjoitan. Pyydä mitä vain!
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Kaikilla on asioita, joista kirjoitetaan blogiin. Perusjuttuja. Kaikilla on myös asioita, joista ei kirjoiteta blogiin. Haasta minut pois mukavuusalueelta ja kerro jotain mistä en yleensä kirjoita blogiini, mutta sinä haluaisit kuulla siitä - ja minä kirjoitan. Pyydä mitä vain!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Nel temporale senza scarpe bellissime,
It is thundering so bad that the car alarms went off in the near-by parking lot. Now our lights went out, so if this text ends somewhat quickly, it's because the dead american-indians (who's cemetery Prato della Valle used to be according to Lorenzo) came after me :)
Do you remember the girl I met in the train while going to Trieste in November to meet Walter? She was studying in Milano but had been studying in Padova as well and she said that she comes here every now and then. I met her about few weeks ago in a club! It was so strange. She went into a complete shock and was just laughing there. Apparently she had also been talking about me just at the same moment. And who says there's no magic :) Or faith or.. whatever you want to call it.
My new roommates are great. Alessandra is home mostly and studying for some exams. She's studying something with politics and is from Bergamo. Really calm and nice. Giulia and Camilla are home only for the nights.. otherwise they stay outside or at study rooms or class. They are best friends and from Verona. Francesco is never here. I don't even know much to tell about him, because according to Alessandra she's also seen him maybe twice within a month. What I know is that he studies engineering.
(1) Giulia and Camilla (they had some kind of fight of wills going on there) (2) My table under the bed while the lights were out. (3) The other end of the room.
Today Alessandra made a promise that she'll just talk italian to me. I've started to get a bit nervious about my italian. I talk so little and I've been here already 6 months now... people keep on mobbing me about it. While I was walking through the city with Katri, I realized that I've always been really slow with languages. I mean, I can have a conversation in italian already, but I always am missing many words and I'm shy to have conversations between more than just one other person. When I was starting to learn english, it took me years to get to the point of writing this good english and speak as fluently as I do now. I started to write a blog also then and then slowly it got better. I took breaks and it took years. Then I started tutoring exchange students, that's when it all got off. Now I can say I can speak it well and I know good english (at least I did before coming here to mess up my whole language system). Anyhow, I decided this changing apartment is also a changing point with the language. More confidence, more practice.
I enjoy living here and I like my room a lot. It's a single room with a loft bed (parvisänky?) and I sleep so well in it. The room is a bit dark, but it doesn't matter. I have my own biig table, lots of storage space, bookshelf space in the living room. We share so much from sugar to spice, from washing powders to soil cleanser. Francesco came to fix the lights.. they just didn't go on after this proper thunderstorm. He's never here and now after 20 mins of going, he came back and first thing in the between the door: "Non ho dimenticato niente!" I didn't forget anything! Then I made baked potatoes for myself and left the room to pick up the phone, going back Giulia had her moment: "mmmm buoni ma poco piccanti" (mmm good but a bit spicy) with a focused look on her face :P
The only thing left worrying me about my ex-house is money. There is a big gas bill coming and I don't know how to pay that if I cannot get the money from the landlord. And it also looks like this change for a better mental health is costing me quite a lot, but we will still see what happens here.
I feel alive and dandy. Even though there's some problems always on the back of my mind haunting me, they don't get to me so much like before. I actually like walking the streets of Padova and I enjoy every ray of sun. I even feel like standing up for lessons in the morning, even though noone cares if I'm there. On Tuesday at the time of the lunch, I realized I smiled without any certain reason just because I could.. and it felt great. I have some kind of a peace of mind stage for a while. Hello, where have you been?
Do you remember the girl I met in the train while going to Trieste in November to meet Walter? She was studying in Milano but had been studying in Padova as well and she said that she comes here every now and then. I met her about few weeks ago in a club! It was so strange. She went into a complete shock and was just laughing there. Apparently she had also been talking about me just at the same moment. And who says there's no magic :) Or faith or.. whatever you want to call it.
My new roommates are great. Alessandra is home mostly and studying for some exams. She's studying something with politics and is from Bergamo. Really calm and nice. Giulia and Camilla are home only for the nights.. otherwise they stay outside or at study rooms or class. They are best friends and from Verona. Francesco is never here. I don't even know much to tell about him, because according to Alessandra she's also seen him maybe twice within a month. What I know is that he studies engineering.
(1) Giulia and Camilla (they had some kind of fight of wills going on there) (2) My table under the bed while the lights were out. (3) The other end of the room.
Today Alessandra made a promise that she'll just talk italian to me. I've started to get a bit nervious about my italian. I talk so little and I've been here already 6 months now... people keep on mobbing me about it. While I was walking through the city with Katri, I realized that I've always been really slow with languages. I mean, I can have a conversation in italian already, but I always am missing many words and I'm shy to have conversations between more than just one other person. When I was starting to learn english, it took me years to get to the point of writing this good english and speak as fluently as I do now. I started to write a blog also then and then slowly it got better. I took breaks and it took years. Then I started tutoring exchange students, that's when it all got off. Now I can say I can speak it well and I know good english (at least I did before coming here to mess up my whole language system). Anyhow, I decided this changing apartment is also a changing point with the language. More confidence, more practice.
I enjoy living here and I like my room a lot. It's a single room with a loft bed (parvisänky?) and I sleep so well in it. The room is a bit dark, but it doesn't matter. I have my own biig table, lots of storage space, bookshelf space in the living room. We share so much from sugar to spice, from washing powders to soil cleanser. Francesco came to fix the lights.. they just didn't go on after this proper thunderstorm. He's never here and now after 20 mins of going, he came back and first thing in the between the door: "Non ho dimenticato niente!" I didn't forget anything! Then I made baked potatoes for myself and left the room to pick up the phone, going back Giulia had her moment: "mmmm buoni ma poco piccanti" (mmm good but a bit spicy) with a focused look on her face :P
The only thing left worrying me about my ex-house is money. There is a big gas bill coming and I don't know how to pay that if I cannot get the money from the landlord. And it also looks like this change for a better mental health is costing me quite a lot, but we will still see what happens here.
I feel alive and dandy. Even though there's some problems always on the back of my mind haunting me, they don't get to me so much like before. I actually like walking the streets of Padova and I enjoy every ray of sun. I even feel like standing up for lessons in the morning, even though noone cares if I'm there. On Tuesday at the time of the lunch, I realized I smiled without any certain reason just because I could.. and it felt great. I have some kind of a peace of mind stage for a while. Hello, where have you been?
I have been partying with friends who stay and friends who leave in a short period of time.
I've got visits. Tuomo was visiting me for few nights. We went to Venice where the poor fake product sellers were escaping the police (1) and we went to Prato's market (2) and ate chinese (3).
Katri came for a visit and we went sunbathing as the sun was heating with over 20 degrees. Giorgio watching my strange drawings (1), Nicola reading the songs in a cd (2), Katri being cute (3). Otherwise Katri's visit was quite a casino with this moving stuff and all the arrangements. First 3 nights we were couch hopping.
And one lovely day 3 finnish girls and a crazy brit walked through the whole city just to go to Lidl.
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